the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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