it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
