It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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