So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
