Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Couch. On fire.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize