It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
