So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
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