ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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