Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
