Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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