Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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