She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
worst night to have a conscience
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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