she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
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Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
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It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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