I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
