if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
