Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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