Got a toothbrush?
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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