Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
My brain says no but my pants say off.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
