THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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