he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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