I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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