Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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