why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I AM VODKA MAN
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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