You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
