Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
