Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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