Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(613): View more from Ontario

the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek

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(618): View more from Illinois

Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.

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(636): View more from Missouri

trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.

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(416): View more from Toronto

Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

It was a blind-side dick pic.

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(804): View more from Virginia

My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.

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