I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
He has the fingertips of a God
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
