Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
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