I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
