if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
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