Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
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she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
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Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
