i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?