is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize