he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
