Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
