There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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