I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
