This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
