i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
