holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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