no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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