I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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