**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
