Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(707): View more from California

Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska

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(510): View more from California

Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.

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(386): View more from Florida

Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him

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(609): View more from New Jersey

my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...

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(818): View more from California

You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.

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(518): View more from New York

whiskey

(914): View more from New York

stop

(518): View more from New York

tequila

(914): View more from New York

you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable

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