Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I'm always down for nudity.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
