He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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