I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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