So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
