Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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