"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
