Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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