those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
