Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
