I want to stick my p in your. b.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
