I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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