come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
