Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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