i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
