out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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