i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize