i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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