i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
